19 March 08

Church Attend -ence

Since it is the era of true confessions, we of Mainstreet must confess that we have been surprised to learn how many pundits attend every word of their priests, ministers, pastors in church- especially as we have not listened to a sermon in years.

Even before our church abandoned us to line up with “holy homosexuality”, and we resigned from said church in protest at the social irresponsibility of undermining the American family, we had for some time spent sermon time reading Psalms or other passages from our Book of Common Prayer, 1928, to choose thoughts upon which to reflect Unless,we say unless, the sermon actually offered some unknown tidbits of history, truths undiscovered and so forth. As the majority of sermons were found to contain private reflections on vignettes of personal lives, we saw no point in loading memory with these things.

Clearly we are alone in this thinking. All of our fellow Americans sit bolt upright and heed every word spoken by the church speakers. Our ancestors who got clacked on the head if found sleeping or otherwise not attending to the sermons would be proud.

So there, Obama critics! Let each and every one of you tell us what Pastor Goodstuff said on 15 January 1989.